A Saviour

My heart has been heavy over the past few days; the more time I spend at the Mustard Seed, the more comfortable I feel talking to the community, and I'm starting to hear their stories, and some of them sure aren't pretty.

One of the older gentlemen has had deteriorating health for a while, has been waiting for operations, and is now walking with a cane and needs our help getting his dinner. Last I had talked to him, he was waiting for a consultation in June, but on Tuesday he said he was going for a biopsy next week. My brain ignored the word "biopsy" and only heard "next week", so I smiled and said how he must have been happy things were moving along. That's when he looked at me solemnly and drew a "C" with his finger. I felt so stupid. Now I just hope I see him again so that I can provide some comforting words.

Then of course, my favorite (we all have our favorites!), who was so cheerful at the beginning of the year, then so depressed, and now I know why. He explained to me his entire tale of woe, and it broke my heart to hear the stories from this guy who, in another Universe, would probably be a great success. But he feels as if he is stuck in a hopeless situation that he can't escape from. I half expect that he will disappear and head back east, never to be seen again.

I have always watched the community members carefully, and I can see them in another life where they weren't messed up by drugs, alcohol, or bad luck. They all have so much potential - don't we all? We are all God's children, and he wants us to be happy, but I just see so much pain that I wish I could erase.

I want to be their savior - I want to take them for coffee, be someone they could call anytime, help them through their problems, and be a light that they can remember - so that they can feel that someone cares about them.

But they already have a Savior, the One who gave His life for all of us, and I can't be some cheap replacement for the real thing. He is the only way they will have true hope.

And so I must remember my task - smile, listen, and be a friend for a couple of hours. But I can't save them; they must make that journey on their own.