Sometimes I feel (well, all the time these days) as if I live in the parallel universe in which Jo had kids. Out there somewhere is another parallel universe where Jo never got married or had kids, and she's living the good life in a high rise condo....that's always what I thought I would do as a kid. Now I just seem to be stuck between work and kids and can't make anything work. Yesterday I was trying to teach Matthew piano and he said "Mom, you're giving me a heart attack" and started to cry. And then Elizabeth is this alien extroverted kid who comes and goes and doesn't seem to fit in with our nerdy family at all. Sometimes I really wonder if she was switched at birth.
So what's the answer? Pray? Cry? I've been trying to resolve all of this for six years with no luck. Now I just want to curl into a ball and be alone for a long long time. Maybe I'm still not over all the stress of the last few years. I feel better, but still not "right". Maybe by Christmas I'll feel better.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Why do we take all of our insecurities and transpose them onto our kids? It's like if they miss out on dance class or they're not in a million things or they get the wrong teacher that it makes us look bad as parents. More parents should realize that their kids are happier playing than being scheduled off to this and that all week long. It just makes everyone tired. Keep Up With the Joneses has taken on a whole new life in this culture, and it has fangs and claws. We are self destructing because we think that the more we do, the better we all look. Our kids are the ones to pay the price.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
I should be going to sleep now, but thought I'd start this blog instead. Too many things going on in my mind - I start teaching a Financial Peace class tomorrow, and I'm worried that people aren't going to like it and no one will come back. Silly, I know - of course they'll come back! But people are finicky when it comes to finances, and when I tell them they have to give up their credit cards and Tim Horton's coffee, they may just start marching out the door. Time will tell....