Lots to say, not a lot of time to say it....it's been nice to wind down after a VERY crazy tax season. I spent a lot of this week cleaning up my office, tying up loose ends, and preparing for our trip to.....DISNEYLAND! I'm happy to say that I'm not overplanning - I'm just familiarizing myself with the park and the attractions. Our plan for Monday when we arrive is to have NO PLAN. We're going to arrive, take the Monorail around the park to look at everything, and then just take everything as it comes. After all, we have a six day pass - lots of time to see lots of stuff!
While we are gone I will miss my first Tuesday at The Mustard Seed in almost a year. I have likely seen my buddy Sheldon for the last time; he finally got his own place (YAY!), but it's over on 153rd street so he won't be visiting too often, if ever. He is often grumpy and very sarcastic, but I know he's going to miss us. One of the last things he said to me, as I was clearing away his coffe mug, was "You'd make somebody a good maid." Of course he was smiling when he said it, and I should have chatted with him again before he left, but off he went into the night, and will probably be in his own cozy place by the time I return. I'm going to miss him, but I'm sure another character will cross my path to entertain me on Karaoke Night.
I'm a little wary about going away, and yesterday brought back a flood of bad memories as the winds and the heat made our front entrance smell like a campfire. I almost called a friend who is on the Devon Fire Department, but then my logical self told my irrational self that I had been smelling the smoke all day - if there was a fire, there would be evidence of it by late evening! I spiraled downward and sat awake, thinking, "Is this how it's going to be....forever???"
As I sat, wallowing in self-pity, a message came through my head loud and clear - You've been trying to do this by yourself and it hasn't been working. It's time to start leaning on God. I've been searching for God throughout the past six months with little luck, and I think I had just finally given up. After this message went through my head, I decide to google, "Is there a scripture that can bring me out of despair" and part of Psalm 71 popped up. Since I wanted to see the entire Psalm, I went to a bible website, but "erroneously" typed in Psalm 70. It became one of those bible moments where the scripture pops out in technicolor and screams off of the page:
The first line: Hasten O God to save me; come quickly, Lord, to help me.
The last line: You are my help and my deliverer; Lord do not delay.
It was call from David thousands of years ago, and it was my call to Him last night. There's no way I can do this alone.
This morning the smoky smell was gone and I went for an early morning run and enjoyed His Creation.
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I love it when those scriptures just jump out at us. Mine was when I was in despair wondering what on earth I was doing in Slave Lake while Keegan was crying because he missed me.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you know someone else on the Fire Department :) but any time you want some reassurance feel free to call, any time, any day!