Thursday, October 24, 2013

Goodbye Grandpa

I can't believe that it has only been three weeks since that magical night when I sat with my grandpa, drinking tea and watching the football game.  I knew that our time together was precious and the moments were fleeting, but I didn't think that he would be gone so quickly.

I am thankful, however, that the kids were able to see him on one of his last good days - we showed him my IPad and he wanted to buy one on which to type his memoirs.  I thought it would be a great idea to buy him a handheld voice recorder - much easier than typing, but by the time I took it out to him, only one week later, he didn't have the strength to use it.  I don't think even he realized how quickly this terrible disease was going to take him Home.

He went into the hospital last Saturday (was that only five days ago?), and I had seen him Friday and Sunday, but the difference in two days was so noticeable; I knew there wasn't much time left.  However, I had a vision on Saturday morning (driving home from kickboxing, of all things!), and it was of my grandma standing next to Jesus, asking, "Can he come now?", but Jesus responded, "It's not time yet" and my grandma, being patient as always, just waited.

That was such a comforting moment, not because I knew we had a few more days with grandpa, but because I realized at that point how God's timing is perfect, and He has a plan, whether we understand it or not.  Some members of my family have discussed assisted suicide and how it would have been appropriate in grandpa's case, because he wanted to die, but he also believed in a God that is far wiser than we could ever hope to be, and he would have accepted whatever God was handing to him.

When I visited the hospital on Sunday he was somewhat coherent, squeezing my hand tight and asking for water when his strength would allow, and I told him that I had seen grandma with Jesus and she was waiting for him, but that Jesus said it was not yet time.  The last thing I said to him was, "Grandma's waiting for you, you'll be with her soon, you're the best grandpa I could have ever hoped for.  I love you grandpa," and he responded, almost in audibly, "I love you Jo."  He then fell asleep and we left the hospital shortly after.

I had thought about returning to the hospital, but I think I just wanted to have my final memory of my grandpa being that quiet little, "I love you Jo.", something to hold in my heart forever.

And the thought of his reunion with his beautiful bride makes my heart happy, for he will dance with his beloved for all of eternity.

I love you grandpa.

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