Now That Was a Lightbulb Moment!

Why should it surprise me that I have been entrenched in legalism for the past six years...no wonder I couldn't get my head around anything important! Legalism fits my personality perfectly - rules oriented, boundries, but I would never have realized that legalism was my problem until I was studying Romans and listening to commentary by the one and only Chuck Missler. I then ran to my new Systematic Theology book (once a nerd, always a nerd), and it's starting to make sense to me now.

I have spent the past six years in an evangelical church, and yet have not been able to call myself a Christian. I thought that getting baptized three years ago might help ease my conscience - after all, professing faith in Christ in front of others was a leap of faith in itself for this uber-introvert. But no, that didn't do it either. I continued to muddle through church, tried to read book upon book trying to figure out what the problem was, tried to learn as much as I could, thinking that knowledge was the key, but no matter what I did, I knew it was never going to be enough, because I didn't follow the rules to a T, sometimes I (gasp!) didn't feel like going to church, and I didn't seem to have the right "church attitude". I was never going to be able to call myself a Christian.

However, the light bulbs started to go on during my Romans session with Dr. Missler, and his specific point that legalism was for those weak in their faith. Faith? That's not logical or concrete. That's why rules need to be followed! GAH! I had always known the definition of legalism, but couldn't see it in myself. No wonder I could never be good enough....because I would never be able to follow the rules to my own satisfaction!

I then read the chapter on Justification in my Systematic Theology book. So we can be justified through faith...okay. So that means we are declared righteous by God.....okay. But we are only declared righteous because Christ's righteousness is imputed on us....okay. The fact that God declares us righteous doesn't mean we change on the inside....okay, it's becoming clearer now. So nothing we do will make us righteous by God, since we will always be sinners...it's only through faith that we can receive this....BINGO!

The book went on to say that, because we are sinners, we could never truly accept the fact that God had declared us righteous by any other means than faith. I think the faith part was the key that I was always missing. Since I viewed everything through a legalistic lens, I could never believe that I could be declared righteous, because the sin factor was always there. But now I see that we are declared righteous through our faith in Jesus.

Faith is the key - hear that logical brain?

Stay tuned for more ramblings......this book is turning my brain upside down.