Merry Christmas

There's something about sitting in the dark, in the still quiet of Christmas morning, that makes a person ponder about this special holiday. In mere moments the kids will be flying around, screaming about their Santa presents, and demolishing the remainders under the tree in no time. When I was a kid, I remember my mom saying, "Well, that's it" or "It's all over" once all of the presents had been opened. Now, as an adult, with few, if any presents to open, I see that there is so much more to this day.

We have been invited to spend the evening with friends - friends who are "orphans" in their family because they have seven kids (and an eighth on the way!) and overwhelm any family member whom they visit. Truthfully, it's probably just easier for them to stay home anyway! They asked us over, to add another four mouths to their hungry brood, and I didn't realize until we had a place to go that it would have been very lonely here by ourselves.

Christmas IS a time that should be spent with friends and family, and too often at this time of year it either becomes stressful to deal with that family and the whole day becomes an anxiety-filled day of little joy, or in our case this year, we are just avoiding the family all together. I don't know which would have been better - a day of lonliness or a day of anxiety. Thankfully, we now do not have to deal with either.

I wonder sometimes if Scott can ever be freed of his anxiety - it threatens to eat us up like an ungly red monster, until there is nothing left of us. If we were to be spending time with family today, his pacing and mood swings would start from the moment he awoke, he'd be medicating himself all day (just tylenol for anxiety-induced headaches, but way too many!), and by the time we would see the family I'd be all tense due to his day-long tension. It happens every time we have to do a family thing and it will happen on Boxing Day before his parents arrive on their way back home.

We did watch a historical account of Christianity last night that Scott seemed very interested in. He has been asking lots of questions lately and is interested in any historical show he can find (yay - a good use for TV!). I'm not pushing him in any direction, but I wonder how the Holy Spirit is working in his heart, and if one day he can be saved from all of his pain through faith in the One who can help. I wonder.

And so, as I wait for the noise to arrive, I think about the birth of that baby two thousand years ago, and how He is the only means to our salvation. I think about his friends who proclaimed the good news after his death, and died horrible deaths as a result. And I think of the promise He left us with, to save us from our sins, and give us eternal life.

The presents under the tree seem to be so insignificant now.