There is a couple that comes into the Mustard Seed from time to time - Paul and JJ. I've seen Paul around a lot; he helped in the coffee bar one night while I was alone and he asked me some tax advice in April, but a month or two ago they came in together with the new love of their life: Thomas.
Thomas was six weeks old when I first met him, and over the weeks he grew bigger and brighter, into such a cute little guy. Paul absolutely glowed when he talked about Thomas, and showed him off to the community - I thought about their little family often throughout the week, and was so happy that Paul was happy.
Last night Paul and JJ walked in, and I should have know something was wrong by the look on JJ's face. I asked casually, "Where's young Thomas?" and JJ responded flaty, "24 hours ago he was taken by social services." I stood there, unable to fathom how their little darling could have been taken away, and had to choke back tears as I imagined their pain. They left before I could talk to them about it, but Sean filled me in - Thomas and their older daughter had been taken, and they had to go to court to try to get them back.
It was one more reminder that I have no idea what goes on with the Mustard Seed regulars when they leave our safe walls. I definitely don't think it was an abuse situation - Paul and JJ love Thomas to death, I can see that, but maybe they are leaving in a dirty apartment, maybe their neighbours are not the type you would want around small children, and someone must have thought the kids would be safer away from their parents.
And so throughout the rest of the night I thought of them as I handed out blankets and jackets to those who would be sleeping outside, and thought about all who I haven't seen in so long: Ricky, Clayton, and many nameless people whos faces are etched in my memory.
As I drove home, I saw a man lying on the sidewalk on the corner of Jasper and 99th street, nothing covering him.
There are so many sad stories.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Greek Yogurt!
Gee, I looked at my last post, thinking it had been a couple of weeks since I last posted, and it's been well over a month - where does the time go??? On a very happy note, I visited my surgeon yesterday and everything apparently looks GREAT! She was very happy (as was I) that she didn't have to take me back into surgery. I left the doctor's office thinking, okay, I'm better, so now it's time to get back into the right gear.
Perfect timing allowed my new Oxygen and CanFitPro magazine to arrive just as I needed some inspiration, and boy oh boy, did I find inspiration! I found great exercises to use in my classes which will begin in November, and some great new food ideas. I have been reading about Greek Yogurt forever and always wondered how different could it be? Well, very different! A good Greek yogurt packs 18 grams of protein per 3/4C serving (compared to about 6g in some normal yogurts), and the consistency is almost like pudding. For lunch today I threw 1/2 a scoop of protein powder into some plain Greek yogurt and it was almost like eating a chocolate mousse (there was just that little hint of yogurty sourness reminding that it was a close imposter!). So, I'm hooked!
Another new thing I tried today was egg whites right in my oatmeal. The consistency was odd (I'm used to a bit of crunch in my steel cut oats), but certainly better than cooking and eating egg whites separately. I think I can get used to it.
Interesting how a few little things can happen to change your mental focus. Really, I could have been eating all this stuff before, but I thought, why bother - you're just heading back under the knife anyway, so why bother being healthy? Silly.
Incidentally, I think I have uncovered why the drive thru lines at Tim Horton's are unexplicably long. It just not make logical sense that anyone would sit in a 15 car lineup when there might be two or three or even five inside. However, that car makes us anonymous - we're just a voice on the other end of a microphone, and no one can see us as we order donuts or ice caps or B.E.L.T.s or whatever. The drive thru worker has no judgment, since she goes through dozens of orders per day. But if we go inside....then someone might hear us ordering a Boston Creme and think we are full of poor choices.
Interesting...I think someone should study the Tim Horton's Drive Thru mentally, or maybe someone already has!
In the meantime, I'll skip my Ice Caps in favour of Green Tea, and ponder more important things in life.
Perfect timing allowed my new Oxygen and CanFitPro magazine to arrive just as I needed some inspiration, and boy oh boy, did I find inspiration! I found great exercises to use in my classes which will begin in November, and some great new food ideas. I have been reading about Greek Yogurt forever and always wondered how different could it be? Well, very different! A good Greek yogurt packs 18 grams of protein per 3/4C serving (compared to about 6g in some normal yogurts), and the consistency is almost like pudding. For lunch today I threw 1/2 a scoop of protein powder into some plain Greek yogurt and it was almost like eating a chocolate mousse (there was just that little hint of yogurty sourness reminding that it was a close imposter!). So, I'm hooked!
Another new thing I tried today was egg whites right in my oatmeal. The consistency was odd (I'm used to a bit of crunch in my steel cut oats), but certainly better than cooking and eating egg whites separately. I think I can get used to it.
Interesting how a few little things can happen to change your mental focus. Really, I could have been eating all this stuff before, but I thought, why bother - you're just heading back under the knife anyway, so why bother being healthy? Silly.
Incidentally, I think I have uncovered why the drive thru lines at Tim Horton's are unexplicably long. It just not make logical sense that anyone would sit in a 15 car lineup when there might be two or three or even five inside. However, that car makes us anonymous - we're just a voice on the other end of a microphone, and no one can see us as we order donuts or ice caps or B.E.L.T.s or whatever. The drive thru worker has no judgment, since she goes through dozens of orders per day. But if we go inside....then someone might hear us ordering a Boston Creme and think we are full of poor choices.
Interesting...I think someone should study the Tim Horton's Drive Thru mentally, or maybe someone already has!
In the meantime, I'll skip my Ice Caps in favour of Green Tea, and ponder more important things in life.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
It's Great To Be Back!
I haven't been to church since July 10 - the Sunday before my surgery. To be honest, there was no way I could have gone back until at least mid-August, since being in a sitting position for more than about 20 minutes was quite uncomfortable. Once I was feeling a little better in later August, I then was reluctant to return, since my buddy and her family were gone, and I wasn't sure how I was going to react upon returning to church with them not being there, and I certainly didn't want to make a spectacle of myself! I already had done that once - in the hospital, when I looked at the clock on Sunday afternoon and realized I was missing their going away party, and I had a major meltdown in my hospital bed. Luckily, my favorite nurse was in the room at the time and helped me breathe again - the problem was that I was starting to cry, and crying hurt, so I was hyperventilating, and caused a big scene.
And so I stayed away, but did some studying (Song of Songs!), and read some great books (Chuck Missler and Francis Chan!), and decided that the Fall Kick Off would be a great time to return. The teaching series was on parables - some of my favorite parts of the New Testament, and best off all, we were burning the church mortgage!!
The return was even better than I could have imagined.
A few times during worship I was reminded that there was a big family missing in the pews behind us, and my eyes glistened, but I didn't feel sad, because I knew it was time to move on. So often this past year I have used them as a buffer (after all, it's easy to hide among a bunch of kids!) and I have been terribly anti-social, but in hindsight it's just been one of those "trying years" where God becomes so much clearer.
And sitting there in my seat, with my precious buffer gone, everything seemed more clear. I was excited to begin Sunday School next week, after grumbling for the past couple of years that "nothing interested me" (when the truth was, I really didn't want to hang out with a bunch of people). I felt called to The Mustard Seed more than ever, and may expand my horizons beyond Karaoke Tuesday and into PAC - the Personal Assistance Centre. I had a great chat with one of our worship leaders and I may get onto a worship team soon....or at least be able to hang around with them a bit to learn the ropes. So many exciting things to do after a summer of laying around and feeling sorry for myself.
But then....I had to remind myself that we can get so busy "doing" that we forget about nurturing that relationship with The One for whom we are "doing" everything. I made that mistake last year, trying to do too many things at once, and I completely burnt out. Done. Finit. I had enough of life.
Maybe all of this stuff that happened over the past year was God's way of forcing me to slow down, to give up the things that weren't important, and to force myself to rely on Him for strength when some days it felt like I couldn't continue any longer. Now that I seem to have poked my head out from beneath the dark clouds, I sure can't forget everything He helped me with.
I think it might be better right now to continue in this quiet space of life I've created and just let Him lead....to whatever and wherever.
And so I stayed away, but did some studying (Song of Songs!), and read some great books (Chuck Missler and Francis Chan!), and decided that the Fall Kick Off would be a great time to return. The teaching series was on parables - some of my favorite parts of the New Testament, and best off all, we were burning the church mortgage!!
The return was even better than I could have imagined.
A few times during worship I was reminded that there was a big family missing in the pews behind us, and my eyes glistened, but I didn't feel sad, because I knew it was time to move on. So often this past year I have used them as a buffer (after all, it's easy to hide among a bunch of kids!) and I have been terribly anti-social, but in hindsight it's just been one of those "trying years" where God becomes so much clearer.
And sitting there in my seat, with my precious buffer gone, everything seemed more clear. I was excited to begin Sunday School next week, after grumbling for the past couple of years that "nothing interested me" (when the truth was, I really didn't want to hang out with a bunch of people). I felt called to The Mustard Seed more than ever, and may expand my horizons beyond Karaoke Tuesday and into PAC - the Personal Assistance Centre. I had a great chat with one of our worship leaders and I may get onto a worship team soon....or at least be able to hang around with them a bit to learn the ropes. So many exciting things to do after a summer of laying around and feeling sorry for myself.
But then....I had to remind myself that we can get so busy "doing" that we forget about nurturing that relationship with The One for whom we are "doing" everything. I made that mistake last year, trying to do too many things at once, and I completely burnt out. Done. Finit. I had enough of life.
Maybe all of this stuff that happened over the past year was God's way of forcing me to slow down, to give up the things that weren't important, and to force myself to rely on Him for strength when some days it felt like I couldn't continue any longer. Now that I seem to have poked my head out from beneath the dark clouds, I sure can't forget everything He helped me with.
I think it might be better right now to continue in this quiet space of life I've created and just let Him lead....to whatever and wherever.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
It Doesn't Really Matter
The other day the kids were listening to one of my "feet songs" (ie. dance music that I typically use for my fitness classes), and one was a song that sampled an old 80s tune: Obsession by Animotion. Now, I this would be a song which I could pull on "Don't Forget the Lyrics" and rattle off 12, 15, 20 words - essentially the entire song. I then went onto Youtube and showed the kids the Animotion video. There's nothing like 80s videos, and there's nothing like 80s hair.
After the giggles about the hair in the Animotion video, I said to them, "Oh, I have some videos that show even better hair!" That led to pulling up Images in Vogue's "Call It Love" (I dare you to check it out and not bust a gut - when I was a child in the middle of the cheezy 80s I saw that video and thought, "this is really bad"). Elizabeth's first comment: I thought that was a girl. We moved onto Platinum Blonde, and Elizabeth echoed her comment: I thought that was a girl. She really gets a kick out of Boy George, and yes, she thought he was a girl too.
Music is so awesome - it can make you smile, it can bring back memories, and I watched those videos longing for those carefree days of youth, of the summer before grade 9 when Bananarama's "Venus" was released and I practiced dancing to it in my bedroom. Maybe that's why I enjoy karaoke night at The Mustard Seed so much - because everyone just hangs out and forgets their troubles, singing, clapping, laughing. The last song of the night was a great rendition of "Ice Ice Baby" (Vanilla Ice, of course!), and Stewart and I boogied around the coffee bar as we cleaned up.
And as I headed out into the night, crowds of people hanging out on this warm summer evening, I pondered about all that we think we need to worry about, and all that we complain about, and none of it really matters at all.
And if none of it really matters, why does it continue to take over our lives???
After the giggles about the hair in the Animotion video, I said to them, "Oh, I have some videos that show even better hair!" That led to pulling up Images in Vogue's "Call It Love" (I dare you to check it out and not bust a gut - when I was a child in the middle of the cheezy 80s I saw that video and thought, "this is really bad"). Elizabeth's first comment: I thought that was a girl. We moved onto Platinum Blonde, and Elizabeth echoed her comment: I thought that was a girl. She really gets a kick out of Boy George, and yes, she thought he was a girl too.
Music is so awesome - it can make you smile, it can bring back memories, and I watched those videos longing for those carefree days of youth, of the summer before grade 9 when Bananarama's "Venus" was released and I practiced dancing to it in my bedroom. Maybe that's why I enjoy karaoke night at The Mustard Seed so much - because everyone just hangs out and forgets their troubles, singing, clapping, laughing. The last song of the night was a great rendition of "Ice Ice Baby" (Vanilla Ice, of course!), and Stewart and I boogied around the coffee bar as we cleaned up.
And as I headed out into the night, crowds of people hanging out on this warm summer evening, I pondered about all that we think we need to worry about, and all that we complain about, and none of it really matters at all.
And if none of it really matters, why does it continue to take over our lives???
Thursday, September 1, 2011
The Best Day of the Year!
The first day of school is pretty close to Christmas Eve for my favorite day of the year. There's nothing like sorting school supplies, picking out new clothes, and heading off to school with anticipation: Who will be my teacher? Who will be in my class? For us, we knew who the teachers were going to be, but had no idea that there would be so many new kids coming into the school! Last year, my kids were the new kids, but this year I saw a lot of unfamiliar faces, and found out later that the school's population had grown once again!! I'm so happy for the school - those teachers work so hard.
Matthew was very happy with his class - 13 kids, only a few girls (only 1 girl today!), and lots of buddies to chat with about lego. He even had a buddy at recess, and they ended the day chatting about the lego movie that will be on TV on Monday.
Elizabeth was also very happy - loves her new teacher, there are lots of girls in the class (compared to last year when she was one of only 5 girls!), and she was playing with a gaggle when I arrived to pick them up after school.
And so another school year begins, and we're all off on the right foot. I feel so different from last year, when I wasn't sure whether I had made the right choice to switch schools, but there is no doubt now that they are where they always should have been, and I'm lucky that there are lots of great years to come!!
Matthew was very happy with his class - 13 kids, only a few girls (only 1 girl today!), and lots of buddies to chat with about lego. He even had a buddy at recess, and they ended the day chatting about the lego movie that will be on TV on Monday.
Elizabeth was also very happy - loves her new teacher, there are lots of girls in the class (compared to last year when she was one of only 5 girls!), and she was playing with a gaggle when I arrived to pick them up after school.
And so another school year begins, and we're all off on the right foot. I feel so different from last year, when I wasn't sure whether I had made the right choice to switch schools, but there is no doubt now that they are where they always should have been, and I'm lucky that there are lots of great years to come!!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Boy, am I stupid!
Tomorrow I visit my surgeon for my six week checkup, and my plan of running on Thursday morning (or any time in the near future) has been blown to bits. However, in hindsight, the events of the past few days was a thankful sign that I'm nowhere near ready to start running again.
Let me explain.
On Sunday, our delightful little town hosted the "Kraft Celebration Tour" on TSN, complete with celebrity hosts, free Oreos, and an Edmonton Eskimo thrown in for good measure. It was a hot day, with no parking in the river valley, so we walked down the steep hill to get to Voyageur Park. I felt good, a little slow, but then I was overtaken by the madness of the live TV show, knowing that my mom and dad were watching for the kids on TV. Scott had Matthew on his shoulders, so Elizabeth went on my shoulders - that was mistake #1.
At the end of it all, we headed towards the busses, but so did everyone else, and I decided that we should walk up the hill. After all, I had run up that hill a zillion times, it wasn't that big of a hill (?!?!?), and I didn't want to wait for the bus in 30 degree heat. I was proud when we beat the busses up the hill.
That was mistake #2.
I woke up on Monday morning and felt absolutely AWFUL! I was nauseous, was trying to force myself to eat bits of fruit, and felt like I was going to throw up any moment. I tried to do a bit of work but instead decided to spend the day in bed. I felt like I did when I came home from the hospital, and was kicking myself. I had a fever, my incision was hot, and I was worried that I had blown some stiches and had an internal infection. I envisioned returning to the hospital, going back into surgery, my doctor cursing me the whole way. It was a very depressing day.
Thankfully, I woke up this morning and felt 100% better. I was able to eat, I drank lots of water, and my fever was gone. Scott wisely "suggested" that I skip The Mustard Seed tonight, and I agreed - my body needs sleep, not a late, busy night and a midnight (or later) bedtime. Time to go to bed and continue to rest.
So 5 Peaks is out, but I'm going to cheer on my friends at the start and the finish. As my sister said, I have a lifetime to enjoy exercise, but if I screw up this recovery, it could be a long time before I do anything again, including returning to The Mustard Seed, and I want to get back there as soon as I can.
So for now, there is only rest in my future.
Let me explain.
On Sunday, our delightful little town hosted the "Kraft Celebration Tour" on TSN, complete with celebrity hosts, free Oreos, and an Edmonton Eskimo thrown in for good measure. It was a hot day, with no parking in the river valley, so we walked down the steep hill to get to Voyageur Park. I felt good, a little slow, but then I was overtaken by the madness of the live TV show, knowing that my mom and dad were watching for the kids on TV. Scott had Matthew on his shoulders, so Elizabeth went on my shoulders - that was mistake #1.
At the end of it all, we headed towards the busses, but so did everyone else, and I decided that we should walk up the hill. After all, I had run up that hill a zillion times, it wasn't that big of a hill (?!?!?), and I didn't want to wait for the bus in 30 degree heat. I was proud when we beat the busses up the hill.
That was mistake #2.
I woke up on Monday morning and felt absolutely AWFUL! I was nauseous, was trying to force myself to eat bits of fruit, and felt like I was going to throw up any moment. I tried to do a bit of work but instead decided to spend the day in bed. I felt like I did when I came home from the hospital, and was kicking myself. I had a fever, my incision was hot, and I was worried that I had blown some stiches and had an internal infection. I envisioned returning to the hospital, going back into surgery, my doctor cursing me the whole way. It was a very depressing day.
Thankfully, I woke up this morning and felt 100% better. I was able to eat, I drank lots of water, and my fever was gone. Scott wisely "suggested" that I skip The Mustard Seed tonight, and I agreed - my body needs sleep, not a late, busy night and a midnight (or later) bedtime. Time to go to bed and continue to rest.
So 5 Peaks is out, but I'm going to cheer on my friends at the start and the finish. As my sister said, I have a lifetime to enjoy exercise, but if I screw up this recovery, it could be a long time before I do anything again, including returning to The Mustard Seed, and I want to get back there as soon as I can.
So for now, there is only rest in my future.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back
This healing process is so FRUSTRATING!! I was feeling great, tempted to run (but I still won't until August 25...if I get the doc's okay) and then we went on a little holiday around Alberta. Throw in three days of driving, walking around, and me deciding to walk up hills in the mountains, and I felt awful last night - sore, swollen, and depressed. Before we left last week I had my sights set on 5 Peaks on September 24, but now I wonder if I'll be running by Christmas. I slept almost 11 hours last night (another sign that my body was hurting), but felt better this morning.
Part of me wishes I would have listened to the doctors when they told me this was major surgery and that I'd be out for six weeks, but I know that once I'm healed it will all be worth it. I have to stop letting my ego get the best of me and realize I'm not going to be in the best shape of my life right now - I just need to rest and heal. But as I rest and heal, I also feel so lazy - but that's life - it doesn't always roll the way that you want.
Part of me wishes I would have listened to the doctors when they told me this was major surgery and that I'd be out for six weeks, but I know that once I'm healed it will all be worth it. I have to stop letting my ego get the best of me and realize I'm not going to be in the best shape of my life right now - I just need to rest and heal. But as I rest and heal, I also feel so lazy - but that's life - it doesn't always roll the way that you want.
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